boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful
jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow
thanks for your contribution
once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy
Time to move back into school tomorrow and sweat so much that I become a mutant ninja miserable fuck turtle
urban dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions
We blindfolded 15 homophobes and asked them to hit piñatas with a stick. The piñatas were actually deadly Asian giant hornet nests. What happens next will warm your heart.
FACT: the USA is trillions of dollars in debt because obama won’t fucking stop buying things on farmville
"bisexual? you mean you’re experimenting?"
*kicks test tubes and alien hybrid under a desk* “um no what do you mean”
'i write sins not tragedies' came out in 2005 nine years ago and i only just realized that they need to close the god damn door because she was cheating on her husband with the door open